OCTOPUS!! 

 This is Microsoft squillionnaire Paul Allen's yacht. It was bought for his 50th birthday by best friend Bill Gates, although what Paul really wanted was a BMX. The Octopus has five decks - the bottom two are car parks, the third is for Paul's collection of driftwood and dog dirt found on beaches he has visited. The 4th deck is for passengers and serves tea, coffee and light snacks from 10am, and the top deck is the gallows which has remained unused since 1938. This yacht is unusual in that it is unpowered and to move it the crew and passengers have to hang on to the back whilst kicking their legs in the water. It takes frickin ages to get anywhere and, during a cross-Atlantic trip in 2007 a mutiny led to Paul giving up and leaving the boat where it was. By chance it washed up into the Mediterranean 15 months later and Paul is now hiring for a new crew. If you want to apply, attach your CV to a brick and toss it casually on deck as you drive past.


DILBAR!

 This is a shot of the Dilbar taken from a secret sniper location. A very secretive yacht, the Dilbar spends 96% of the time submerged at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean where its crew conduct experiments on penguins and bras. It surfaces once in a blue moon to replenish its stock of toothpaste and to sell its own organically produced cheeses and marmalades to fund the ongoing work. It is owned by actor Richard Briers.


 LADY MOURA!

 One of the few commuter yachts, Lady Moura is seen here pulling into harbour to pick up a few passengers on their way home from work. To the right of the picture you can see one of Lady Moura's five gun turrets which, along with the anti-submarine torpedos, surface to air missiles and gun-ship helicopter form a formidable arsenal against other commuter vessels and forms of public transport. The legend on the front of the boat used to be made of 24-carat gold but, after it kept being pinched, the owners Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise decided to replace it with letters made from the gold wrappers from Munchies. They made these themselves whilst cruising along the coast of Portugal.


 A close up of "the plank" which passengers are invited to walk down if they are found to have underpaid on their fare. The driver can be seen in the window on the left. When the sea gets choppy a group of Turkish ukelele players are on hand to chill him out. 


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